What This Season is Requiring of Me

Dear God, it's me again,

Lately, I’ve been asking myself what this season is actually requiring of me. Not what I want it to be. Not what I wish it was. But what it truly demands. And the answer hasn’t been more effort or more striving it’s been more honesty. More stillness. More surrender.

Have you ever felt a transition coming? Knowing something has to change, but also knowing you weren’t ready yet? For a long time, that was me. But now, I can finally say I am ready. This is my season of acceptance. Acceptance that I need to be open and willing to fully embrace where God has me, instead of fighting it.

There’s been a noticeable shift in me. I’m more aware of what and who no longer fits. In order to become who I truly need to be, I’ve had to allow change to take place, even when it’s uncomfortable. That has meant limiting access to parts of me that everyone doesn’t deserve anymore. I can’t grow if I continue surrounding myself with people who remind me of a place I’m no longer at.

So I’ve been learning how to set boundaries real ones. Not soft explanations, not over-justifying myself, but standing firm. And I’ve noticed something else too: my tolerance has dropped drastically. I no longer have the capacity for negativity, gossip, or conversations that pull me backward. The energy I used to waste talking about him, her, or them is energy I now want to pour into getting closer to Christ, into myself, into my kids, and into protecting my mental peace.

I truly believe this season is asking me to purge. To let go of anything that doesn’t align with where I’m going. And with that purge comes accountability for where I am in life, the actions that got me here, and even the things I allowed.

I’m craving peace. And with peace has come stillness.

I don’t want to be seen or heard right now. I don’t want an audience. I don’t want to make announcements or explain what I’m doing. I just want to step away quietly and focus. Funny enough, a friend recently asked me if I was okay because I’d been “acting weird.” And I smiled because that’s the point. Change is happening.

Nothing feels wrong, even if everything looks different.

I’m shedding my old skin and leaning fully into God. For the longest time, I felt Him calling me to do a lot and in this season, I’m finally learning what obedience looks like, even when I don’t feel ready. Especially when I don’t feel ready.

Why is it that when you start changing, people say you’re acting funny? Why does growth make others uncomfortable? Maybe I’m just tired of how things were, and I’m finally doing something about it. And that’s exactly why, in this season, I’m no longer explaining myself. If you think I’m moving funny, then okay. This transition isn’t about anyone else.

I’m no longer trying to prove myself.

And the truth is, transition isn’t fun. It can be lonely. It can feel heavy. Sometimes it’s even a little sad. But I’m learning how to navigate it with grace, knowing that I’m changing my life for the better. And with God at the head of my life, I know this season no matter how uncomfortable isn’t impossible.

I’m realizing now that this season isn’t just about change.

It’s about what I’m willing to carry forward and what I’m finally brave enough to leave behind.